First Doctor's appt - 7 weeks & 3 days

So, it turns out my math is really bad. According to the doctor I am only 7 weeks and 3 days since my last period. Woops. Here I was thinking I was already somewhere between 8-9 weeks. Yikes. I'm nowhere near out of the water for miscarriage.

I liked the doctor. He was coridial and quick without making me feel rushed. He went ahead and did an ultrasound since I didn't really know when my last period was since I'm irregular. He said judging by the size of my baby he thinks I might be more like 6 weeks along, but he couldn't really tell and I go back in 2 weeks to get another u/s to get more accurate info. It's wierd to find out you are not as far along as you think. But I don't know why I'm in such a rush. So, for now I'm calling it 7 weeks along. I was going to try and scan the ultrasound pictures, but they were so black I didn't think it'd work. Hearing the heartbeat was awesome. He said I have a tilted uterus so it was hard for him to find the baby at first and I was so worried, it was such a bad feeling - what if I'm not preggo, just crazy! But then there it was and I could totally see the little flash of the heart just a pumpin away. The doctor gave me the go ahead to keep running long distance and said I could do crunches, I wasn't sure about that. I can't wait until Sept 17th when I go back!

When to tell work?

So I am faced with a new dilema. I am doing a relay at the Akron marathon on Sept 27th with 4 other pregnant ladies. We were organized by the lovely Salty (blog in links - The little one). I totally want to do this and a local paper wants to do an article on us. Exciting. The issue is that the marathon and the article will be before I had planned to tell work. I was going to wait until Oct to tell work. The only reason being that we get our reviews in Oct and I didn't want to stand the chance of affecting my raise. But I think the chances of that are pretty slim since everyone pretty much gets the same piddly raise every year. So, now do I wait until my first ultrasound to tell work? Or just go ahead and tell them after I've had my first doc visit tomorrow, I am somewhere between 8-9 weeks along right now. I know that for a fact b/c there are only a handful of options for this babies conception. I so want to tell right now b/c I am so excited. But I know that things could go wrong and I should wait longer...When did you tell bloggy friends? Do share -

Seriously in need of gym time

I can't do it. I can't. I just can't seem to work out. I have been totally off the ball for about 3 weeks now and it feels awful. I have managed to run at least 3 times a week, but that is it. And some of those have literally been just 2 miles. I haven't lifted a weight, I haven't done a crunch, I haven't gotten on my bike. It stinks. I'm not that sick, although I feel that I am getting greener as the days go by, I thought for sure I would puke this morning. The issue is that I can't wake up. I have to get up at 5:30 in order to get to the gym and back and get to work. I try everyday and I haven't done it in a long time. Then when I get home from work I generally feel worse than I did in the morning and just want to collapse. Just.so.tired. I hate that. My body is totally changing. I've only gained like 3-4 lbs, but I feel like my stomach just looks different. More dougy. Probably b/c it's been over a month since I have regularly done any ab work. Boo. I mean I know I have to gain weight, I am not afraid of having that big round belly, but I am afraid of losing all muscle tone and having to start over with running and everything else with a newborn in tow. The plan was to keep up my workouts the entire time.

So, what do I do. Do, I listen to my body and sleep in the morning or do I push through the haze and get up, knowing once spin class is over I will probably be glad that I did? In a perfect world, here is what I think I should be doing, which believe me is a lot less that I was doing 2 months ago. Up until July I had been working out about 10-13 hours a week bc I was training for a half ironman.

Monday - Rest
Tuesday - run 3-4 miles, ab DVD
Wednesday - Spin class, weights
Thursday - run 4-5 miles, ab DVD
Friday- Spin class, weights
Saturday- Long run 6-10 miles
Sunday- Yoga class or weights

Oh what a baby filled weekend I had! I started out on Friday staying with my friend in Cincinnati Mindy who is moving back to NE this week. She gave me a cute baby gift, one of my first, a little monkey t-shirt with Baby Nowac puff painted on that back, too cute. Sat morning I went to a baby shower in Cincinnati for two old college roommates. One is 31 weeks along, the other 35. They looked great and got a lot of cute stuff. I wrote down one thing I must have it's the Boon Frog Tub somethingorother. It's basically a huge frog full of bath toys. Too cute.

Then I headed to KY to stay with my mom and we went to babiesrus so I could get another gift for a baby shower I have this coming weekend (peanut!). I had a nice night with my family and then I headed to Bloomington IN to visit my friend who had a baby in June. A boy, Nils Henry. He is 10 weeks old and just gorgeous. He had the nicest head of red hair and was all smiles. He was just so stinking cute and giggly. It was fun to see my dear friend being a mom and I am glad she has done it first so she can give me tips. And being around the little one just got me really excited for what's going on in my belly. Well uterus really I guess. My book says that this week, week 8, my uterus is the size of a grapefruit, how exciting.

In other pregnancy related news, my hips and lower back are frigging killing me. I cannot seem to escape the spine pain. I feel like I can't sit up straight enough, like everything is collapsing down my back. Jane said that her midwife told her (when her hips were hurting) that its b/c your pelvis is already starting to expand. Also my week by week book said that some women have intense sciatic nerve pain, I assume that is what I have going on. It stinks! But I should count my lucky stars, one girl at the shower was 12 weeks along and had thrown up so much she even had to be hospitalized to get fluids. Poor thing.

Sheesh what a difference a day makes

Sheesh. In a matter of 12 hours my boobs went from being just fine to hurting like hell. I could barely sleep on my stomach last night, I kept moving and then getting a stab of shooting pain up my boobie. Today I feel like I have swollen watermelons (okay who am I kidding apricots) shoved in my nearly B bra. Yes readers, I am really flat chested. I am one of those people who actually buys a nearly B bra, b/c the A is just too depressing. Well, this morning the girls are filling out my B so much that I might not be nearly anymore. But they hurt. And of course the first thing G does this morning is grab my boob. Ouch. I keep wanting to pull my shirt out and look at them. But I guess that's inappropriate at work. I just did it anyway, though. No one saw me.

I feel like everyone should be able to tell just looking at me that I am Woman, I am Pregnant! Look at me Fertile Florence. Then I remember I'm all of 7 or 8 weeks along. No big deal yet, no big difference. But why do I feel like my stomach looks 3 months along. Ugh. It could be b/c I can't take a good poo to save my life. Oh bodily functions, how I detest you right now.

Oooh Knock on Wood

So I dragged my ass out of bed this morning to run with a friend at 6am. Which requires getting up at 5:30 am, which in my first trimester fog is not easy. But I did it and we had a nice 4 mile run. But during the run I was talking about how I hoped I wouldn't get morning sickness and that I was about 7 weeks along and no morning sickness yet and don't most people only have it bad during the first trimester and so on. Well, I get home and take a shower and Mushi and Tai (my dogs) were just being so stinking cute and cuddly that I had to get back in bed. So, I lay down for about 20 mins. When I got back up. I was so sick. Just a horrible wave of nausea, I got out of bed and immediately lay back down. I ate 2 pieces of toast and felt a little better. But now I have like one of those motion sick headaches. Icky.

Now I need opinions from my fellow running preggos. I signed up for 2 half marathons pre preggo. One is Sept 7th (I'll be about 9 weeks along) and one is Oct 19th (already in second trimester). Now the one in Oct I am definately doing even if I walk it b/c it is in CA and through the Redwood Forest and it will be my hubby's first half. But I wonder if I should do the one on Sept 7th, it's just here somewhere I run a lot and I originally really wanted to try and PR and am a little afraid I'll push myself too much? On one hand, the Munchkin has already run over 13 miles 4 times now. So, I know she can handle it. But on the other hand, I'm like what's the point, why risk it? I don't know if I want to run it really slow. I kind of want to just run it and if I am able to run it fastish great, if not, then I will jsut run/walk if i need to. So, should I do the Half Marathon in Sept? Give me your honest opinions. I am torn.

I am still feeling so elated and happy. I hate that I can't tell everyone. I want to post on my tri training blog so badly, but I know you can't just tell everyone at 7/8 weeks. It's too early. I keep telling myself, but that doesn't stop me. So far I've only told my family. 3 or 4 friends & a neighbor in Cleveland and then my 2 best friends who don't live here. But I want to tell everybody!

Superhuman olfactory senses!

Yesterday wasn't such a great day in pregnancy land. I had my first real case of nausea at work. I really thought I was going to have to run out of a meeting, luckily it never got past the stage of that pre vomit slobbery feeling in my mouth. Then towards the end of the day I got really crampy. I thought for sure I would spot, but I didn't. I just felt generally icky. I was supposed to go run with some friends, but I decided that I better listen to my body and it wasn't having a good day.

My smell is out of control. Do any of you have this problem? It's like I'm a nose super hero. Everything stinks to me. Like I almost lost it in the kitchen last night, I'm standing there and I can specifically smell the coffee maker, the garbage disposal, the garbage can and my dog. It's gross. Plus I went to eat some salsa last night and I thought for sure it had spoiled, it tasted carbonated and so acidic, but G said it tasted just fine. I brought hummus for lunch and ended up throwing it away, I love hummus. Too wierd. I don't like it. But if this is the worst that I get, I'll take it.

I had planned to go to spinning this morning, but was up all night worrying about money! Already! Argh. I really want to take a year off of work. But when I think about living on just G's paycheck, it covers our bills and not much else. I know that he takes a lot out of his check for retirement and our car funds, so he can make his check larger, but still I just don't think it's possible. I am going to have to figure out a way to get my work to keep my part time. Maybe they will let me work part time for 3-6 months after I come back...maybe...Ideally I would want to work part time until munchkin is in school. I think we could live off of half my salary and G's for that long. BUt I don't really have the time of job that translates into part time. I know even if they pay me for part time and I'm only here in the office 20 hours a week, I'll still have to work from home and check email...maybe I can talk them into 20 hours in the office and 10 hours from home. Maybe. It'll depend on how good my baby is b/c I have lots of conference calls. If I had to work 10 hours from home, I could just schedule for all those calls to happen from home. It could work out. Too bad I work for like the least progressive company ever. So, I doubt they'll want anything to do with it.

PS = I added some links, if you don't want to be linked, please just let me know and I will remove it.

Oh I have opinions, lots of them

So I have my first official doctors appt on Sept 2nd. I can't wait. I wish I could go sooner! I don't know if I will like the doctor. I picked this place only b/c it is on my insurance and b/c it is only 5 mins up the road from my work. I figure that will be the most convenient. It is a group practice, which I am fine with. There are so few private practices anymore anyway. At least with a group, I will meet all the doctors at least once so I don't have to worry about some stranger delivering my baby if my private practice doc gets sick or in on vacation, etc. I still think I like the idea of a midwife, but I need to learn a little more as I have no desire for natural child birth! I know very few things, but I know I was the epidural as soon as humanly possible. Actually if they can give it to me at 8 months, that would probably be good. Give me a month to get used to the feeling of being numb down below. Yes, yes, I know epidurals could end up making me paralyzed. But I am going to take that chance over feeling my vag split open. But that's just me. I also know I want to breastfeed. Even though I am very worried about getting orangutan titties. I am alread extremely flat chested, but at least there is a little perk to them. I have seen what happens to your nipples, oh my god, I didn't know they could get so big, it scares me actually. But when the milk is gone, those things are going to fizzles like a 3 day old party balloon. Uh oh. I don't even want to breast feed b/c I believe it's that much better for my baby, I want to breast feed b/c it is hella cheaper and burns a ton of calories. Materialistic and Superficial, yes, but that's how I feel about that :) In fact I almost think I would prefer a c-section. But I won't go there unless I have to. So, I know what I want already on some things. I am seeing a woman doc for my first visit and we have the same first name. Sounds like a good sign to me.

Joy and fears

I am so happy. I can't get over how stinking happy I am. Just overjoyed. Everything seems brighter. Everything certainly smells more. Boy have I been hit with over sensitive honker sydrome. That and my taste buds are way off. This morning I was running with my friend, yes I am still running, and I was like oooh smell that garbage and she was like "oh boy you are pregnant!, I don't smell anything". Hahah.

I have to tell you bloggy friends, I have one deep down horrible fear that is just overtaking me. I am like 5-6 weeks along, 2 weeks ago I had a cold sore, it was my second one in a month! I get them maybe once a year and I was just disgusted and pissed off. So, I went to the doc and told her she had to give me some pills to get rid of this cold sore and to have on hand for the next time I felt one coming on. Well, I asked her if I could take them when I was pregnant and she said, well there haven't been any studies done other than in animals, the animals test show it's fine. Well, I really didn't think I was pregnant at this point, I mean I had just run 19 miles a few days before! And I took the pills for 2 days, 4 of them. This would have been right around 2 weeks for the fetus age. I am so scared that those pills have F-ed up my baby. I mean it's possible right. I'm not worried about the beer I drank, b/c there was beer. Almost everyone I know seems to have drank and then found out they were pregnant and freaked b/c they had 3 beers, but the baby always is fine and I never had more than 2 drinks in the last month. I'm not too scared about the running, althought I'm sure I got overheated and they say if you get overheated, the spine and plates etc that are forming could get messed up. I am worried about these evil cold sore pills. I have googled about taking them during pregnancy and everything says you shouldn't. I am scared about that a lot.

I am on a mission to find a doctor. My gyno isn't an OB. I have a few recommendations. I do need to go get blood work this week, I took another test though (haha) and it say pregnant too. The place I go to said I can come get bloodwork anytime, but it has to be between 8:30 and 4:30 and not over lunch from 12:30 -1:30. The place is near my house. So, I will need more than an hour if I go there and I don't want to take time off of work. I could tell work I have a docs appt, but I just had one the other day and I don't want to raise anyones radar at work. I need to keep this secret until Oct when it's raise time. So, I need to try and find somewhere near my work I can go. My regular docs office is right by work, so I need to call there and see if they can do this bloodwork.

Fun with calculators

First Day of Last Period 7/08/2008

Estimated Ovulation Date 7/22/2008

Beginning of Second Trimester 9/30/2008

Beginning of Third Trimester 12/23/2008

Estimated Due Date 04/14/2009

I am 5 weeks along

Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is real! I did some calendar math and I believe I have been actually pregnant for 2-3 weeks. I got pregnant somewhere between July 16 & 26. Since my period is irregular, it's hard to know for sure. So, that means I am 4-5 weeks pregnant as far as doctors are concerned since they count from your last period. That is so wierd. Now that I know, I feel like crap! I don't know if it's psychosympatic or just b/c of the week I am at. I have felt really tired for awhile, but the past 2 days have been really bad. And today and yesterday I have felt slightly nauceous. I have been so caught up in this I haven't worked out since Monday, so I must, must, must tonight! I am very adament to stay in shape during this pregnancy, even if I am throwing up while doing bicep curls.

I told my mom and one of my sisters (my dad died earlier this year). We told G's mom and dad &stepmom and sisters. I know we should really wait, but it's just too fun. All the reactions were great, I wish I had come up with somethign more creative! 3 friends know. 1 who just had a baby, one who is about to and then my best friend that I was training for the marathon with.

Last night we went to the bookstore and I got a week by week book and Fit Pregnancy magazine. Boy I have a lot to learn.

There's no turning back now, this munchkin has to come out of my body sometime next April. Eiyeyeyeii. Oh yeah I asked Gary what he wanted to call it - bean, tadpole, etc, he chose Munchkin, like the donut.

Wow. Holy Shat. Wow. I'm pregnant.

And now I have a story that can scare high schoolers. See kids you really can get pregnant on your first try. Yep, the digital stick I peed on this morning said I was pregnant as well, so I am apt to believe it. Guess it's time to find a doctor. I cannot believe I got pregnant this easy. I went off the pill at the beginning of July and I have been training for a marathon. I know that it only takes one time, but logically I just really thought it would take a few months. Gary was funny, he says he got jipped b/c he only got to "do it" a few times in this process.

So, let the games begin. And accordingly I feel like ass this morning, on the verge of puking. Is that psychological or is it just timing. I think I am about 3 weeks along. If I ovulated 14-15 days after I stopped the pill.

Crazy. Just crazy.

Maybe Baby, maybe?!?

I debated whether I shouldpost this, but this is what this blog is for. To record it all. So, I woke up this morning and just couldn't resist since this week is my period. I peed on another stick. Yep, I've gone through 4 tests in a matter of weeks! the first one was about 2 weeks ago and was negative, then the dud the other day. Then this one this morning. This one this morning, it, it, it.....had 2 lines. It said I was pregnant. For reals. It was 6am and I was still bleary. But I ran upstairs, the dogs got all excited b/c I was running and I poked Gary and told him to wake up. wake up, wake up. He of course thought something was wrong and I told him to turn on the light and handed him the test. He smiled and gave me a hug. Then I freaked out for awhile. I drank a beer, I had coffee, oh my god I had a red bull. OH shit I just ran 19 miles last weekend. So, then I took another one and it was another dud! Another dud. So, 2 duds and one positive from the same box. So, that makes me think these test are ruined in some form. And all morning I was slightly elated, but mostly doubting this whole pregnancy thing. So, I went out at lunch and bought some fancy digital tests and took another test! So, make that 5 tests in less than a month. This one said NOT PREGNANT. So, who knows. It could be wrong b/c my pee was very clear. Since it's early, my period isn't due for a few days, there might not be enough hormone to tell. So, I will count the minutes until tomorrow morning. But just in case, I skipped the coffee this morning and the diet coke with lunch. You just never know.

If I am pregnant, holy snookers, I am the worlds most fertile woman ever, or G is the most fertile man ever. This would mean we literally got pregnant the first or second try.

I really kind of feel like I could be. I've had some strange things going on lately. I can't get enough sleep and wake up all foggy headed, I have an amazing amount of teeny zits on my forehead ( i never get zits), I have gotten 2 cold sores (gross i know) in the last month and normally i get like once a year when i am really sick, certain smells have really been bothering me and making me feel like i am going to puke.

I googled and it's easy to get a false negative, not so easy to get a false positive. So, who the hell knows people. There might be a tadpole in there all hopped up on red bull and running.

Ooooh drumroll please, this is a very exciting week! This is the week that Aunt Flo is supposed to come to town, the Time of the month, the the the hmmm....I seem to have ran out of euphemisms for period already. I guess I'm out of practice since I spend most of my joke related times on poop and farts. I got all excited and took another test this morning (i know, i know!) and it was a dud. The F-er didn't even give me the control line. grrrrr.

I bought a gift for a friends shower last night and it was so cute I just wanted to put it on my cat and make her walk around the house in it. But I didn't. Maybe tonight.... Sorry Salty, try to ignore the cat fur on your present.

hmmmmmmm

Vivian?

so my sister suggested the name Vivian. She thought of it b/c of pretty woman, but it just so happens, I caught pretty women on TBS the other day and thought it was a pretty name. But it's been in my head and I keep rolling it around. It is such a beautiful name - Vivian Grace....too froo froo? Wow, I'll pretty much have the name and nursery picked out before I am even pregnant or know the sex of the baby. Oh well, it can't hurt to daydream. I also think of cute things I could call a boy aside from his given name of Gary. I keep coming back to Mutt, don't ask why! I have no clue.

Ever since I went off the pill, all 21 days ago, I have felt like crud. Just one thing after another. It's really annoying. I don't know if it's related or not. Mostly it's just an overall belly blerghyness and fatigue. Like I just feel like I am in a fog. I can't get up in the morning Plus I have had several periods of general ick when I just know my body is in disarray. Today is one of those days. Again, I can't even imagine I could possibly be pregnant, so I don't think it's that. I think it's my body adjusting, but I am sick of being sick. It's really starting to put a damper on my life! I take my vitamins, I eat well, I work out, yet I seem to always be sick. So unfair. I have had blood work done, everything is on the up and up. Maybe I am just a headcase!

$10 down the drain

I imagine that everyone who had tried to get pregnant has done the same thing, but I must admit I've taken 2 pregnancy tests in the past month. So silly I know. There is no logical way that even if I was preggo that they stick would show me that until I am closer to my TOM. So silly. That's a good way to waste money, that's for sure. It seems with all the amazing technologies we have that something should be able to tell you you are pregnant the day after fertilization. Come on!

to quit or not to quit

I freaking hate mondays. I actually hate my job. I am a project manager for a software company. I'll leave it at that, never know when big brother is watching. I worry a lot about working here while pregnant. Stress can't be good for a pregnancy and I pretty much almost cry weekly at work. I have thought about quitting and finding a new job. But it's really not the best time to start a new job, when you are going to be getting pregnant hopefully.

If I work here when I get pregnant, I will not go back to work. I would like 1 year off. Now, I would prefer a part time gig and then stick to part time for 3-5 years. If this job was willing to let me keep one or two of my accounts and work from home 10 hours a week and come into the office for 10 hours a week, etc. I would stay here, but this job is not that progressive, they wouldn't ever consider such a thing. So, maybe i would be better off finding a new job at smaller company that is privately owned and might be more apt to consider such a thing. However, I would think I'd need to prove myself before a company would care to keep me part time. And who knows how much time I have on my hands? It's all very confusing. It's a shame there are not more part time professional opportunities. I hate to not bring in any income, but there is no way being here 45 hours a week is more important than seeing my babies firsts. No way, but I need to come up with a way to bring in a few hundred a week. Maybe I will watch someone else's kid?? Or try to start up that dog walking business. Couldn't I take the baby with me strapped to my chest for dog walks?? But that'd only be $10 bucks a walk, so I'd need to have like 30walks a week, that doesn't sound likely.... Sigh, how do people make ends meet on one salary!

Is it wrong that all of this totally grosses me out?

Hmmmm, so I think this is what ovulating feels like oooorrrr I am about to have my period? I woke up this morning with a really painful stomach ache in my lower belly area. I assume something is going down in the ovaries. The pain subsided after about an hour, but that area still feel kind of sore. Seriously, I didn’t even realize how great being on the pill was. I have never had any kind of PMS and I didn’t even know it was period time most of the time, other than the fact that I was on the dummy pills. It’s also amazing to me how little I know about my body and how it is supposed to function. Since I have been on the pill for all of 13 years now, going on it in high school (insert apology to mom now (not that she is reading this), while I may have gone on the pill at 16 b/c I had big plans, I didn’t need it for a few more years), I really haven’t ever had to think much about periods and all that yucky stuff. Wow, I used parenthesis inside of parenthesis back there, that takes talent. Yes, I am still totally immature and periods are yucky and I don’t even want to fathom the day I am interested in my discharge. I mean really someday I may blog about how I am getting egg whitey, for reals. That is just gross. Actually the fact that I will even have discharge grosses me out. Seriously. Okay, I will stop now.

I went ahead and told Gary I was keeping this blog and that maybe I told my one pregnant friend here about it, oh and well this gal I know from san fran, oh and maybe my sister and mindy, but then again maybe your sister too. He didn’t get too mad, just said that I should really devote a blog to him and all his greatness. Well, the fact that I want to have his baby is saying something right? He also went on to say that I should really write about how great he is at this practice baby making stuff. Those of you who know G will get a kick out of that, he has to be disgusting at all time. Which is part of the reason I love him so much. Now if I could just figure out a way to get him to rub my feet.

We have an agreement. If it’s a boy he gets to name it, and it will be named after him. I’m not super excited about that, but it means something to him and I would never take that away from him. So to make up for it, he agreed that I get to name it (it sounds so bad!) if it’s a girl. So, here are some of my favorite names in no particular order!

Ruby
Elanore (call her Elly)
Madeline
Lola (gary hates)
Stella Blue (after my favorite Grateful Dead song, again gary hates)
Skylar (getting a little too trendy?)
Dylan ( I love me some bob Dylan and can totally see me dancing around the house baby on hip wailing “it ain’t me babe”)
Tela (great Phish song, not Tela Tequila!)