Being pregnant is an amazing thing. Full of good and bad all mushed together to just equal a weird time in life. Take for instance my boobs. At this point in time I have an amazing rack. I myself can’t keep my hands off of them, poor Gary is defenseless. If I want something done all I have to do is flash him. I can’t imagine how my life would have been different had I had these puppies in my early 20s where I mostly just drank and waitressed and then drank more. Probably a good thing I am getting them now at the ripe mature age of 29 and know how to use them properly. Oh you don’t want to paint the basement tonight…well look at these BAM! I am used to being a flat as a board gal who had to wear a nearly B bra. NEARLY B, I repeat, I'll let that sink in (it's a nice way of saying i need an A cup bra). Now all of the sudden I am overflowing the 34B I picked up a few weeks into the pregnancy. It’s time to move to the C cup I think. Oh vey. So, I have these great boobs, my clothes look so much better from the 1st rib cage up. But then again my stomach is now equal to my boobs in how far it sticks out, so really, the boobs don’t really do my body outlook a whole lot of good. On top of that they are absolutely covered in a map of veins that you could see from New Jersey if I was standing outside topless. But nonetheless I have boobs! And they feel weird. Just this morning I bent over the seat to get something out of the back of the car and I smooshed my boob and holy shit batman it hurt. So, I have these great boobs, and as long as I have a shirt on they look pretty good.
So, score 1 point for something more attractive going on.
But then you move on to fun pregnancy symptom #2. I fart like crazy. Gary can attest. I spent the entire night last night stinking up our room so badly and so loudly that I laughed until I cried. The dogs looked at me in shock and Gary had to watch the Cavs game with the covers pulled half way up his face. Now prior to pregnancy I was someone already obsessed with farts. Farts = damn funny as far as I am concerned. So I will lump this new super power into the positive developments of pregnancy category.
However, the excessive sweating, urination, snot and weight gain….those can go into the bad category. That and the out of breath feeling I am plagued with most of the time. I must say that overall I really do like being pregnant. Of course this is coming from someone only 21 weeks along. And a bitch who never had a day of morning sickness. So, my tune will likely change when I am all of 5’2 and weighing so much you can roll me to my cube at work and covered in stretch marks on my new fantastic boobies. But I love feeling the constant flutter of the baby, reminding me I really am doing something great here. Going from someone who was pretty ambivalent to children. I get it now, before the baby is even outside of me. I get why people are obsessed with their kids and act like they are little gifted wrapped packages that were dropped from the heavens. I used to get so annoyed that people acted like if you weren’t having children you were missing out on something great. Half way through this little science experiment, I think they may be right. I always thought that pregnancy would be the worst, I didn’t want to ruin my body or put all my workouts on hold. But really in the scheme of things who cares if I spend my weekend biking 5 hours and running another 2. I’m not winning any races, I’m not even placing in any races…so taking a year off it really not going to make a difference. Baking this baby is a lot more fun!
I Hate Everything About You
5 days ago