End of blog

Hello bloggy friends. I started this blog to chronicle my journey to motherhood. When I started the blog I thought it would take some time to "get knocked up", little did I know...now that Harper is here it is too hard to maintain 2 blogs. So, I am going to stop updating this blog and go back to my tri blog (although I'll just be running this year probably). I hope that you will all update your links and follow me over there, there will be plenty of Harper updates as I now work on becoming a marathoning mamma.

http://www.trainingtotri.blogspot.com/

tips please

Okay ladies I need a few tips on this breastfeeding. How in the world do you control the other boob when she's feeding on the opposite one? My milk squirts everywhere and we are making such a freaking mess. Also, do you have to use breast pads in your bra forever or does this milk eventually calm down? If I so much as look at my nipple it comes squirting out, which is great for parlor tricks, but no so much for day to day life! I feel like we both need a bath by the end of feeding time. Also, do any of you have lazy suckers? Harper does great for about 5-10 mins and then loses interest. I know I am making enough milk b/c it is dripping out everywhere. But she is still hungry after the boob and will drink about 2 oz supplemental (either breast pumped or formula) in a bottle. My doc has me cutting back the amount of supplemental, so do I just have faith that once the bottles are totally gone she will be hungry enough to pay more attn to the boobs?

Here's Harper fine tuning her thumbs sucking skills:

Get ready for some cuteness

Today we took Harper on our first family outing to the holden arboretum. It's a big old garden for those of you who don't know what an arboretum is. It was a little hot, so we didn't stay long, but got some great shots. She did really good, but didn't eat for me at the park, I think she was just toooooo sleepy from the heat.

1 week old

I can't believe it's already been a week. This time last week I was just starting to get ready to push! In the first week Harper has figured out how to suck her thumb, is getting pretty good on the boob, has pooped way more than I thought possible and is way cuter than I could have ever imagined. She still has not cried one time since we brought her home, she sleeps like a champ and loves water. Her cord fell out today, so I washed her bottom off in the sink after a huge butt explosion and she loved it! So, bathtime should be easy enough.

Here's a video for her aunts:

Doc recheck

We had a follow up with our ped today and the jaundice is gone. Yahoo. Also she is just an ounce below her birth weight. I've been supplementing with the formula, but the doc and I discussed and he gave me a plan to get her off the formula/bottle/pump cycle. Basically I will boob first until she loses interest, then give her 2 oz of follow up milk (breast or formula), every 4 days I will drop that follow up milk an ounce until it is gone completely. Right now I can only get her to latch with the nipple shield, but starting Tuesday I will go to the boob circle group and hopefully the lactation consultant can help get me past that, but I'm much more interested in getting off the pump cycle than I am worried about the shield. I hope to get her just exclusively on the boob, then do that for a few weeks before I re-introduce bottle of breast milk, I mean I am not going to be the one to feed her everytime. Ahh it's all so complicated! Good thing I am such a big fan of lists and plans!

Home sweet home

Yeah we are home. We got home Wed night around 8 pm. Harper has a mild case of jaundice, so they made us stay a day after the neurologist to getting her eating, pooping, peeing, etc. I guess they thought we'd just go home and stop feeding her, sheesh. They had me start her on some formula since my milk wasn't in and they were concerned with how much she was eating. So, we did a day of that and whatever I could pump and got our walking papers. We went to her pediatrician on Thurs morning and her jaundice is getting better, we go back Sat for a recheck. She only has a mild case.
Everything is right with the world. She is such a little cutie. I just adore her. She loves starting and me and Gary and makes the funniest faces when she is awake. Mostly she is asleep. We are doing tummy time right now and she went on her first walk today. I walked a mile, it was fine, but I could feel that my core aches when we got back. Oooh the work I have to do. Don't even want to think about it. Today I start cutting out all the excess sugar I have unfortunately allowed myself.
My milk is in, but she's a lazy eater. I can only get her to latch on with a nipple shield at this point. Our eating routine is boob first, usually she'll do that for about 20-30 mins then lose interest, then on to a bottle of pumped breast milk ( I usually have about 1-1.5 ounces in that), then on to these little similac 2 oz bottles they gave me from the NICU. Its such a lonnngggg process. But I am glad she'll take the boob even if it's with a shield. I will worry about breaking that habit later. I plan to attend a breastfeeding group at the hospital starting next Tuesday until we are just boobin it. She has a really good latch, she just doesn't eagerly got at and she can't seem to get my nip without the shield.
I also plan to go to a new moms group starting next week that they have near my house.
Tired, I will blog more in the coming weeks I am sure, but for now even though we do nothing, it seems like we're constantly busy. You all know how it is. I have to make sure to blog though so my sisters can see all the updated info on their newest niece!

All clear - yahoo

Well after 48 hours of hell the neurologist saw her and declared her perfect. Thank goodness, but man oh man the stress. I mean I know they have to be better safe than sorry. She is off the IV now and she can be in the room with me, but I still have to take her back, she can't stay in here for good, so when I go to sleep she goes back to the NICU and I hope they will discharge her tomorrow. It's now all dependent on how they think she's eating. I think she's eating pretty darn well, but it's not up to me!

Random thoughts

Just some random thoughts on Harper's birthday that I don't want to forget.

• When I first came into the hospital I spent time watching stupid movies like "Bring it on" and "Enchanted", it was great to have such mindless fluff to watch.
• Popsicles are only good to a point, after about 4 of those I was tired of them. Being hungry was one of the worst things about the labor process. I had eaten at 8pm and wasn't hungry when we left for the hospital. I wish I had eaten something, by 10am my stomach was growling. By 3 pm with the extreme hunger and sleep deprivation, I could have killed someone. However I was surpised that I really didn't get snippy at all and G and I got along all day.
• The first nurse was really condescending and I didn't like her, I was glad her shift ended. I really liked the nurse I got after that. She and the Resident who helped when it was time to push were awesome and having nice staff I think really helped the day go by.
• I was surprised how little I saw my doc. I only got checked internally 3 times the whole day and he only did 1 of those. Then he came back to catch the baby basically. I was fine with that, just not how I thought it would go.
• At one point early on Gary and I were watching my contractions on the monitor and they were going about half way up the chart and I remember saying to him that I wondered if they ever went all the way to the top. Ummm, they do and it freaking sucks. How anyone gets by without an epidural is beyond me, you ladies are rock starts.
• Once I wanted the epidural and couldn't get it, it was excrutiating to have to wait. I mean I understood b/c the lady got paged, but that was a really bad hour or so while I sat with monster contractions and they really drained a lot of energy out of me.
• The last time before it was time to push they checked me and I was 5-6 cm and 100% effaced. This happened really quickly from the previous 3cm check beforehand. Anyway I was sitting there and heard this awful gurgling noise between my legs. It happened a few times and I called the nurse, who got the doctor. It took awhile for the doc to come and it kept happening. It ended up being the baby moving down and pushing air out, it was so gross. But this is what got the show on the road. I knew something was off and they checked me and said I could go ahead and push or let her head come down a little more, she was at -1 station. So, we let her slide out a little more on her own.
• When it was getting close to time to push, I got really really nauseous and couldn't stop crying. I guess I just got a big surge of hormones, it was all so overwhelming.
• I pushed for about 1.5 hours. I was scared of that, but it didn't hurt as I thought it would. It was really awkward to try and hold my legs though b/c they were so dead and my right hand was dead to the world from the RV. A nurse held one leg and my mom held the other leg most of the time. Everyone was right, modesty is out the door, I never thought I'd go for that.
• Gary was great the whole day. When I was pushing, he rubbed my shoulder and told me to push push push and reminded me to keep my chin down. He did manage to stay up above and don't think he got sight of anything too nightmarish, lol.
• It was a total nightmare after she was out. Sitting there waiting to pass the placenta and get my stitch, with everyone running around her and not really knowing what if anything was wrong. Waiting to hear her cry. Minutes turned into hours. It was not fun. And only getting to spend like 5 mins with her literally after she was born, it took me awhile to really absorb that I had a daughter. I felt bad the first visit or two, like I didn't really feel like she was mine. It was weird, but it changed at some point and I started to feel the fiercely protective bond. But it did not happen right away at all.
• Being the world's biggest wuss, I can definitely say, that with an epidural at least, labor is really nothing to be scared of.
• Gary has been so good with Harper. It really is lovely to see them together. She totally knows his voice and looks for him when he talks. He's going to be a great daddy.
• It's really freaking annoying how often you get woken up when you want to sleep at the hospital. Last night they came to check my vitals twice while I was trying to finally get some sleep.
• Nothing prepares you for the mess that comes out of you over the next few days after vaginal birth. Yuck. But I am sooooo happy that I didn't have to have an episiotomy, I'm sure that makes it 10 times worse. I have one little stitch and it hurts enough. I can't imagine dealing with a serious tear.

Sleepy Harper

Harper Danielle is here

Hi everyone. Yesterday at 6:06 I gave birth to our daughter. Harper Danielle, she is 6 lbs 14 oz and 20 inches. long.

My water broke a little after midnight on Sunday morning. I got up thinking I had to pee and I thought I'd pee'd myself a little bit. I went to the bathroom and it didn't stop. But it wasn't all what I would have expected. So I danced around the bathroom for a bit and then gush. So, I knew at that point and promptly freaked out and woke Gary up. I couldn't remember for the life of me if we went to the hospital when my water broke or not. I called the answering service and never got a call back. So, I waited an hour and got put on hold and got pissed an hung up after about 5 mins. At this point I was starting to get really hot and thought I might be getting a fever. I knew that I was positive for strep B and needed to be on an IV of anti-b's well before baby got here. So, we decided to go to the hospital.

I got checked in right away and we were in our room at about 1:30. At this point I was having random contractions and they weren't that bad at all. Over the morning, after my first check up, they scared me a few times telling me if I didn't get into active labor on my own soon that they would give me petocin. The first thing I had to get was an IV. I was very nervous about this, I am not good with needles. The gal doing it was nice, but she put it in on the left side and after a few sticks my vein rolled, so that was far from pleasant. Then she moved to the other side and got it in, but it was in a really funky spot and left me without control of my right hand pretty much and bothered me all day. But the last thing I wanted was to be stuck again, so I just left it alone. Alllllll day long it bothered me and my right hand swelled up, so it was pretty much useless for me to grab my legs with later in the day. Around 3:30 Gary ran home to let the dogs out b/c our dogsitter wasn't coming over until 7 or 8 and we were worried about our first babies. While he was gone things really got going and I started having regular contractions and they hurt. At this point I still had the illusion in my head that I could probably make it w/o an epidural. Tuttttt tuuttt. That lasted for maybe 30 more mins, then they really kicked in and I was only about 2 cms dilated, so too early for an epi. I asked the nurse for a little something to take the edge off and they gave me Nubane (sp?). Loved it. It took the edge off and doped me up and I really wanted to sleep, I wanted to sleep soooo bad. And I totally could of on this stuff, but people kept coming in. First the docs for another check, then the anesthesiologist to tell me about that and give me forms to sign, then the cord bank stuff, then the nurse and by the time this parade of people was over around 7/8 am the Nubane had worn off enough that it still numbed the contractions a bit, but not enough to sleep over.

At some point I decided I wanted an epi, the contractions had gotten so much worse. Boy that is some serious pain there! I knew I was a wuss, but sheesh. I called for the epidural and they told Gary to leave. They started to clean off my back when the person administering it got called to the ER. So, just like that I was left in a lurch with contractions going OFF the chart on my bedside monitor. I was left like that for about an hour and by the time Gary came back into the room (they told him to get lost for 20 mins) I was pretty much crying and hyperventilating through each one. Poor guy looked so scared, but what could he do. So, I had 2 hours or so of the big contractions. But eventually the nurse found a doc to do my epi, I think it was around 2pm. I was scared I wouldn't be able to sit still, but I did. It wasn't a great feeling by any means, but I didn't think the epi hurt nearly as bad as the IV and I got through it relatively calm, except that a contraction hit and I had to work so hard to sit still. I only had like 2 more painful contractions after that and felt fine the rest of the time. By the next check I was already between 5-6 cm (previously had been 3 and threatened with petocin again). Those 2 hours of major contractions did their job. The epi was great, but also awful b/c I was now bed bound, not that I had been up and about nearly as much as I would have envisioned. With the belly monitors and IV it's hard to go anywhere. But by the time it came time to push I realized that my legs had swollen to gargantuan proportions and I could barely bend my knees, which was really gross.

I started pushing around 4:45 and it was hard b/c I just couldn't tell if I was pushing effectively. My right leg was like a dead weight I could do nothing with it. But I could feel my feet and my leg leg pretty well. I had a really great resident gal who sat with me the whole time I pushed and massaged my perineum internally and would coach me to push her fingers and was really great. I didn't think I wanted resident around, but she was awesome. I only saw my actual doc for like 20-40 mins the whole day, including when he caught the baby. So, I pushed for a little over an hour, maybe like 10 sets of pushing. It didn't hurt at all really, was just tiring. I had been up for like 18 hours at this point and was just exhausted. My mom, Gary and his mom were in the room. I had thought I only wanted Gary there, but I was so tired I just didn't care anymore and you guys were right my modesty was right out the window. No episotomy, no hemorrhoids popping out! I got by with one stitch from a teeny tear. I would say overall labor was horribly tiring and the worst was really being tired and hungry.

On that final push they put her on my belly and its just shocking how blue and waxy they are. It scared me to death. She was wiggling around and I got to take a look, but then they snatched her away. And all kinds of people came in and long story short my little Harper is in NICU. It sucks sooooo badly. I only got to hold her for like 5 mins before they took her away. The main reason being that she never cried. She was breathing, just not making a sound, not a peep and I heard several conversations asking how far along I was, they seemed to think she was exhibiting the motor skills of a preemie....so there are some "tone" and "reflex" issues as well. The whole thing was a whirlwind and everyone was really very nice, but it's the worst feeling in the world to see your baby over in the little warmer with like 5 people gathered around trying to make her right. The docs took her away and came back to talk to us at like 7:30. They brought her back to me around 9 and we tried to feed her, but she wasn't having it. She just wanted to sleep. So, they took her away to the NICU to stay overnight and unfortunately put her on an IV. So sad for her. Gary took my mom home around 10 and while he was gone, they moved me to postpartum. He got back around 11 and went and spent some time with Harper. I slept for a few hours, then went in there around 1. She finally cried while I was in there, thank god. But we are not out of the woods yet. I spent some time with her, but they put her in one of those incubators with the arm holes, I couldn't deal with it. So, I came back and went to bed for about 4 hours.

I got up at 6 this morning and went to try and feed her again. She's kind of getting it, but I'm not making anything right now. I thought I was, but after she refused to eat, I came back to use the pump and nothing is coming out anyway. I don't know anything right now. I spent some time with her and am waiting for breakfast, then I am going to shower and go back to the nursery and spend some more time with her. I know they won't let her off the IV until she eats and I don't seem to be making any milk, so I don't know how all of that is going to work out. We may be here longer than the normal 48 hours, at least she might. I don't know if I will stay here or go home since we live close. So, the worry and the wait continues. It sucks.

Please excuse the grammatical errors as I am exhausted.

Grounded until she's on solid foods

I am grounding this baby until she is on solid foods, whats that about 7/8 months old. I can't believe I am at work on Friday. If you had told me last Friday when I was doubled over in the mall from back spasms/contractions that I would make it a whole another week at work I would have laughed in your face. I knew this baby was coming out. Yet here I sit. Yesterday was almost pain free aside from some nauseating heartburn, and so far today I got out of bed and ready for work a lot easier than I have earlier in the week. Bah. I'm also sleeping pretty solidly, only getting up twice the past 2 nights to hit the bathroom. Crazy. I am staring my due date in the face, I have 5 days to go. Yes I know that most people are overdue with their first. I'm fine with that, I am just scared to death of being induced and every day I get closer to my due date that's an inch closer to the doc saying we should just induce me. And b/c I am so sick of this I doubt I'll put up much fight. Or he might want to sweep my membranes, which aside from the possible health issues, just grosses me out and I don't look forward to that pain. I know I am over thinking all of this, but I'm sure all of you did too, you just might not have journaled as neurotically about it :)

Maybe Harper/Magnolia/Elise/Elanore/Ruby will make her debut this weekend. If not, I think I am just going to work through the 22nd, which is my due date... I have a doc appt that day, I'll get an internal and unless nothing has changed; I think I'll just throw in the towel as far as trying to save my days off. I don't want to be here, I am not being productive and maybe if I lay around at home things would be more likely to get started.

The calm before the storm?

I feel weirdly okay today. I got out of bed with little effort, I was wide awake and had little back pain. What the heck. After being miserable for so many days why am I getting a reprieve? Not that I'm complaining, but I can't help but wonder if its the calm before the storm. My little gal has barely been moving the last day or so. She's okay I'm sure, there have been hiccups and a few big moves, but not active as I am used to. The MIL told me that you'll know its time b/c everything gets really calm and still in the belly. Maybe there's something to it. We shall see.

I walked a mile yesterday with the dogs and I spent an hour last night while I watched America's Next Top Model (how bizarre is Tyra Banks!, love it) bouncing on my yoga ball. I really enjoyed it, I am sad I waited so long to sit on it. It really does take pressure off and let you sit in a comfy position and I can totally buy why it would help move birth along. From what I read online the bouncing, helps bounce the baby's head gently against the cervix helping to open it up. Sure, why not, I buy it.

Memo to coworkers

Dear co-worker -

It really isn't funny to constantly ask/tell the pregnant woman

"Are you still here" When obviously I am, you're looking at me and I must hear this 10 times a day
"When are you going to have that baby already" Yeah as if I know
"When's your last day" Again as if I know
"You look like you've dropped" When I dropped weeks ago
"Are you sure your not having twins?" Kiss my ass
"How much weight HAVE you gained" nunya biz
"Can't you take the rest of the time off?" Don't make me cry about how sucky maternity leave rules/pay are

39 weeks

I made it another week. I made it to 39. I guess I should take another belly shot, but the belly is pretty unremarkable since she dropped. It is much smaller than before. It's really freaky though when she moves a certain way some part of her, I believe it's her little toosh gets right under my belly button and sticks out so far it hurts. I don't like that. She doesn't move much anymore, but when she does, it's definitely big sweeping changes of position and it doesn't feel so great. She seems to like (or maybe hate) bath time, the position of sitting or the warm water in the tub seems to rouse her. I am not a bath taker. I hate baths, something about sitting in dirty water and I never feel like the tub is clean. Anyway since the back pain started last Friday I have been taking baths like its my job. It's the only time my back doesn't hurt. I did break down and take some tylenol last night b/c after taking the dogs for a walk I just wanted to cry b/c of the back pain, it helped.

So, obviously no baby yet. I did lose part of my mucus plug I believe. At least I finally saw some darker discharge that came out in little chunks (sorry Josh :) ). That was on Monday night. On Tuesday I was at work and I went to go pee....and I stood up and I am used to a little trickle so I am prepared for that, but instead I got a huge gush, it was awful. For a minute I of course thought my water broke (searching for signs aren't I!) b/c you read so often about people's water breaking when they were going to the bathroom. But I had to run to a meeting. The whole time I sat in the meeting trying to figure out if I was still leaking or if it was just my soggy underwear :) It was awful. Ahhhh the indignities of pregnancy, aren't you glad I share too much! In the afternoon around 2 I had another pretty intense contraction and then another about 20 mins later and then another! I though oh maybe maybe please let this be it. I'd say I had 4-5 over 2 hours and I was feeling very nauseous and kind of spaced out. So, I figured just in case I'd head home, so I left work about an hour early. Got home and snuggled down with the dogs in bed had another 2-3 between 4 & 6 and then nothing, nada. So frustrating. I never understood how people turned to home remedies like nipple tweaking and raspberry tea and sex with their hubbies (the horror!), but I get it now. I am so ready for her to make her appearance.

We've been talking about names more and more. Gary really like Harper, I really like Magnolia and Eleanore. I can't wait to see her little face and get the name figured out. I sat in my glider in her bedroom last night, I really love our nursery. I am so thankful my sister is so talented and we were able to make such a lovely little room.

Update

Another Monday at work. Maybe my last, well at least second to last I hope. This weekend was pretty damn miserable. I definitely had hours of relief where I felt semi normal, but then would have these horrible random contractions. I saw my doc this morning and he said it sounds like false labor. Good times. Since I woke up this morning I have felt okay. He did an internal though, so now I am feeling extra menstrual crampy. I am 2 cm,50% effaced and the baby is at a -1 station. He could feel her head, that’s kind of gross! So, it could still be awhile, or it could be tonight, who the heck knows. All I know is that I can deal with this, I know I need to quit worrying about, but being at work is going to seriously blow this week. Mostly b/c I am so on edge and irritable and no position is really comfortable thanks to the horrendous back pain that started on Friday. Sitting on the edge of my work chair though isn’t too bad, but I know at some point I will have to put my feet up today.

On a positive note. I did have a relaxing weekend. We watched several movies over the course of the weekend that I picked up at the library. In an effort to save money I cancelled our Netflix subscription. I was surprised to find so many newer releases at the library. We also went to G’s dad’s house on Sunday for Easter and had a nice meal. And then to his mom’s house and she loaded us up with chocolate. G and I came home and cuddled on the couch and watched a stupid movie – What Happens in Vegas. Not a bad way to spend our possible last weekend as a childless couple. Tonight we must go to the grocery store and get stocked up, we are out of everything.

Oooh boy

Does my back hurt! Sheesh. Yesterday at work I was feeling funky so I decided to call in sick today. It was a great day. I laid in bed and watched reruns of Arrested Development and the Office allllll curled up with Mushi. He was in a super snuggly mood this morning so there was lot of good dog spooning :) Once I was bored of laying in bed, I took the dogs for a mile walk. The walk didn't feel great, I was waddly and uncomfortable, but forged forward and made it the whole block. After that I did the last thing on my task list and that was reorganizing the downstairs bathroom closet. That bathroom will be the baby bathroom, so I needed to put the baby towels and wash clothes and baby wash, etc in that closet and throw out a bunch of junk. Once done with that I did a quick run thru house cleaning, got cleaned up and headed to the mall. I was planning to walk both floors of the mall to get a little exercises in, but after one level my back started hurting really really bad. Bad enough that I had to sit down and relax for a bit. I had come to the mall for a bra and a pedicure, so I quickly got the bra and then got my pedi. When I got home I basically collapsed into bed and have been fighting the pain ever since. Gary and I did go out and have some pizza, but it wasn't very comfortable for me. The pain comes and goes, but a dull ache stays put. Either she is sitting on some sort of nerve and pinching it or I am having back contractions. It hurts like a son of a bitch and the only time I can make it not hurt is if I stand up and bend over my bed and kind of stick my butt up in the air and rock back and forth. Good times. This pre labor stuff is no fun!

False alarms

No more contractions since late yesterday afternoon. I decided to take the day off work today. I have a long list of things to do, but there will be much laying around watching tv in between! Or I may go see a matinee movie. I think I will get a pedicure though. Happy Friday, have a great holiday weekend.

Practice labor perhaps? Early labor? Who knowssssss

I'm sure it's nothing. But I'm bored at work so why not blog about it ( I am sooo checked out at this point, sorry bosses). I don't think I ever really had braxton hicks contractions. If I did I confused them with the baby moving, it's possible I thought her wiggling was actually a BH from time to time. Last week though I had what had to be a contraction. It hurt so bad and stopped me in my tracks. I was in a meeting, my whole stomach froze up and I just wanted to scream out. But I was on a call, so I kept on with the meeting. The call ended and I got up to walk back to my desk and I felt like I couldn't even really stand up straight and I was sore for a bit afterwards. Maybe baby just hit some weird nerve and caused that to happen, but it was exactly what I thought a contraction would feel like. I had 2 of them I think, close together, but then nothing else.

Nothign since. So fast forward to today. I am on a conference call and sitting with my feet propped up when I am again gripped by pain. I can visually see my stomach seize up, I got all hot and sweaty and not to be gross thought I may just poop my pants. This happened a few times over the hour call. It hasn't happened since, but my stomach feels odd. Not quite right, it's sore like maybe I did 10,000 sit ups or menstrual cramps. That ache is residual, its not going away and my back aches. I will also add for the ick factor that there has been an upswing in discharge (ewwww) but its not looking bloody at all. Stay tuned, maybe just maybe we'll be getting this show on the road! LOL, or maybe just maybe I will be pregnant for another 3-4 weeks.

Twenty Second Percentile

That sounds better than 15% right? We had the follow up u/s today and it went fine. She has gained weight, estimated to be at 6.4 lbs right now and is in the 22.8% range. No need to induce. Sheeww. Not that I really thought it would come to that, but its good to know for sure. We got to see her face, not a great clear shot, but the u/s tech pointed out that she had chubby cheeks.

So now I just sit and wait. Ugh. I hate this. 14 days until my due date. This is literally torture to me. Anyone who knows me in real life can appreciate that. I am horribly impatient and hate surprises. I am very punctual and like everything to be on a time line. Hey I'm a project manager for a living. If I could force this pregnancy into a Microsoft project plan format I would. Yes, yes, I know this will have to change after baby. But this right here, the sitting around and waiting for my vagina to explode, I don't like it one bit! I'll say I loved the first 8 months of pregnancy, this last one can suck it. I am hobbling like an old lady b/c every morning my left knee and hip and shoulder hurt so bad from the weight of sleeping on them, I am second guessing every twinge and pain in my belly and nether regions expecting labor to begin, I am constantly peeing and pooping and checking my undies for some big mucusy surprise that may never come, I can't concentrate or even pretend to care at work anymore. I hate this! I just want to be done, I want her here and I want this over. But then again....dreading labor. So I know I should just take it slow and try to enjoy these last few weeks. It's just kind of hard when everything pretty much hurts and all you want to do is lay around and watch tv with the dogs. That gets old after a few hours. Although I did succesfully organize my closet last night and pack my hospital bag and Gary put together the baby swing. I also have washed both dogs over the course of the last few days. So, some items are coming off my to do list.

Its finally happened

i have a double chin! Oh no :) I knew it would happen eventually. I couldn't get away with a pregnancy that didn't affect my face. I did make it almost 38 weeks though!

Tomorrow is my follow up u/s. I am not too concerned. My non stress test was perfect. I saw my regular doc on Monday and he basically said he didn't bring it up b/c measuring 2 weeks behind is so common. He also pushed around on my belly and said if he was a betting man he'd say she was already over 6 lbs. The only reason they would induce me is if she has gotten below 15% or the amniotic fluid looks to be running low. So, hopefully neither of those will be the case. Although I am sooooo ready to be done.

Ladies - how about some advice on what I need and don't need in my hospital bag. So far I have flip flops, slippers, 1 pair of lounge pants, 2 tshirts, a massage thingermerbob and 2 magazines in my bag. I plan to also put in there my robe, ipod and toiletries (including scope and chapstick), a few snacky items, need to get a nursing bra too. Anything else? I have in my head that we'll take the laptop, but is that just stupid? Am I stupid to thing as I sit there for hours waiting to have the baby I might actually send an email or dictate one to Gary?

Weekend countdowns

I have so few weekends left it's mind boggling. It's so wierd to be in such a hurry for something to be over, yet so scared for the day to come. I cannot say that I am the bit excited about giving birth. Of course I want to meet my baby, but pushing it out of my vagina scares the bageesus out of me. Anyway, I had a productive weekend and got a lot of stuff marked off my to do list. I got up early on Sat and ran a ton of errands, which translated into spending a ton of money, ugh. The dogs and I took 3 half mile walks, it was really nice and sunny out, but a little cold. I went iwth a friend to do a home visit for the rescue group we work for, that took up a good chunk of the day. That night G and I ran some returns from the baby shower to Kohls and got chinese carryout and lounged around watching tv. I slept in both days. Well stayed in bed until 9 at least, but Fonzie had us both up around 7, that little shit is sure on a schedule. Today we went and rejoined Costco and bulked up on paper goods. It looks like diapers will be a lot cheaper there too. Of course I am trying the whole cloth diaper thing, but you can get 200 disposable diapers for $40 at Costco. Good to know. This afternoon we went to an easter party at one of his relatives house. I ate way too much and am now exhausted. There will be nothing more than watching tv in bed tonight. Ohhhhhh just a few more weeks of that.

Update

Hi bloggy friends. Due to concerns over my tiny baby, I went for a non stress test this morning. The results of that were great. The baby decided to be hella active and her heart rate did everything it should. So, what does this all mean? Nothing really. I am happy to know her HR is good and the midwife said I seem to have one really active baby on my hands which indicates she shouldn’t be in any stress in there. But until I go back Wed and we find out if she has grown, I won’t know if I am getting induced. I am not really stressing too much over all of this. I did for a few days, but I know we are more than likely fine, so why waste the energy. The midwife went back over the u/s findings with me and although she is in the 15% she was estimated at 5.5 lbs, so I have to imagine she’ll be at least 6 when she gets out into the world.

Boy am I tired today. For the past 4-5 days I have been waking up at like 3 or 4 am just totally wide awake. I lay there not wanting to move b/c I don’t want to rouse the dreadful sleeping puppy who will surely want me to take him outside. I keep thinking I’ll fall back asleep and then I don’t And then I keep thinking maybe I should get up do something, but then I never do. So I fall back asleep around 5. Gary gets up at 5:28 (yes 28) so that doesn’t do me much good b/c his alarm goes off and I am up again. Then I snuggle back down, but toss and turn and don’t really ever go back to sleep when my alarm goes off at 7. Such a lovely cycle. Could this be the nesting instinct telling me to organize my closet at 3 am? If so, why can’t it hit at 5pm!

On another pregnancy related note. I think I had some contractions yesterday. I haven’t had Braxton hicks that I know of. Although I wonder if what I think is the baby moving is really BH sometimes. But yesterday morning I just was feeling weird and off and my belly was doing funky things. The I was in a meeting and it was like everything seized up and my belly got hard as a rock and boy did it hurt. Then I went to stand up and walk back to my cube and it didn’t stop and I was all hunched over b/c I didn’t feel like I could stand up straight. After the bad hurt, it kind of faded, but took a little while. This happened twice. But then it hasn’t happened since. Weird huh?

I am so glad it’s Friday. No matter how you cut it I only have like 2, 3 MAX full weeks of work left. I am so ready to be out of here.

And the worry continues

So I had a doctor's appt this morning, but got stood up b/c the doc was running late. Okay, it happens, no biggie. But of course now that I actually have something to address I have no one to talk to. I was too busy at work to worry about it. I talked to the midwife when I got home. Can't say it made me feel very good. I have to go in for a non stress test Friday morning. She's still pretty worried after looking over the results I guess. Again, it is what it is and there's nothing I can do at this point. I tried to do a little research on what my worse case scenario is here, but it's too hard to really figure it out. So, that's it again I am done worrying about it. Non stress test Friday, ultrasound next Thurs. Then if I have to get induced, I'll worry.

Hibernation

I slept a lot this weekend. I actually felt much better on Sat & Sun than I did last week. I wonder if it's psychosomatic, being at work makes me feel worse. Computers and florescent lights make me sick. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel great, but I do feel better than last week. I haven't had any crampy feelings since Friday evening. But my boobs and back are still killing me, my stomach is still a rotten mess of diarrhea and heartburn and I am soooo tired. I slept a lot this weekend. Naps both days and I went to bed at 9:30 last night and got up at 7:20 am today, one trip outside with Fonzie around 4am. I did however go to prenatal yoga and walk 2 miles on Sat and walk 2 miles on Sunday. I asked the doc if it was okay to still walk a few miles despite baby's low weight and he said yes, so I guess I will just shoot for 1-2 miles of walking each day and leave it at that until baby is here. I have a doc appt tomorrow at my OBGYN's office. Same doc I saw last week, different doc than I've seen all along. She doesn't like to do internal's b/c she figures the baby will come when it comes, so I don't know that I'll get any update on if things are moving along or not. She has a point, but oooh the wait is killer (and I still have 3.5 weeks to go!).

I am hoping/waiting for that nesting urge to kick in. I have the desire to clean out my closet, but not the energy. I really want to get that done before baby gets here, b/c it will be the last thing I will think about and its time to pack up all the winter clothes. I couldn't wear them anyway, I've been wearing the same 6 shirts forever. I need to do that and the front porch needs to be cleaned off. That's it for my task list. Gary is currently repainting the kitchen and fixing the windows in there, the rope mechanism doesn't work in 2 of them, we use wooden spoons to keep them open :) Not the safest thing! Downstairs bathroom never got painted :( and likely won't since we are out of time.....but hopefully he can do it when he is home for 6 weeks with me.

My friend Jenni from Cincinnati is likely having a baby today, so sending her positive vibes and lots of good luck. It was looking like the baby was breech and she had an appt this morning and they decided to go ahead and send her for induction/csection, she's due in about 2 weeks. So, she will likely be meeting her son today! I can't wait to see pics.

Oh and I sent Gary a list of names and told him to mark off ones he hates, and bold ones he likes, here is what we've got going now. The non bold ones are ones he can live with. I'm surprised he likes Harper and sad he hates Zoe.

Elanore
Lillian
Maisie
Harper
Violet
Norah
Iris
Lyla
Lilla
Mallory
Ruby
Elise


He vetoed:
Chloe
Zoe
Quinn
Rowan
Roxy
Stella
Bliss
Opal
Delilah
Lydia
Lenore
Claire

belly shot - 36 weeks

I haven't posted one for a few weeks. Here is the 36 week belly shot. Oh and on TMI pregnancy news my boobs have decided to start leaking. Lovely. I didn't realize that would happen so soon, but sure enough there's yellow liquid coming out. Greeaaattt. Also for the last 3 days or so I've noticed that I am extremely achy. My whole back, not just my lower back is killing me and my hips, if I move my legs to the side too much I feel like they are going to pop out, plus my knees are aching. Do you produce more relaxin towards the end? It didn't really occur to me until just a few minutes ago when I moved oddly in my chair and I literally thought my hip popped out of socket. Welll, maybe that is normal, since they will have to pop out soon.

And check out cutie patootie Nils, my friend's 9 month old son. They came to stay with us last weekend. Nils is loving standing up by pulling up on anything right now, he's sooo ready to walk.

Fonzie is doing a diaper check in that last one. Good boy. He'll come in handy.

my tiny baby

Well I had my ultrasound today and I can't say it was the most comforting appointment ever. I will now be a worry wart for the next 2 weeks. I have to go back in 2 weeks for yet another u/s. So the baby is measuring 2 weeks behind. She is in the 15% and just a smidge over 5 lbs. As the doctor told you only have to worry when they are under 10%. Great, a whole whopping 5% over. His advice to me was to eat nutritious meals, not lay on my back and drink lots of water. Okay....I will work on that. Of course I am now convinced my baby is tiny b/c I ate a ton of junk and watch tv on my back every night. Just my luck. On a positive note, the spine is formed, the kidneys are working, the lungs are working, the heart has all the chambers. She is exteremly wiggly and the nurse said she could tell she had a head full of hair. Hmmm, maybe those old wives tales about heartburn are true. Of course I am going to try not to worry, but it's not a very good feeling to know your baby is in the 15 percentile for anything. All this time I have been worried about having a giant baby.

Worse case scenario is I go back in 2 weeks and baby is still under 6 lbs, then I have to get induced b/c they will decide she's not getting the proper nutrition in there.

All of this really makes me not like my doctor. I've seen the same doctor for 90% of my appointments. I have seen a different doctor 3 times. 2 of those were midwives. The first midwife caught that my doctor didn't order me to get the RH- shot that can only happen during a certain timeframe. Then this new midwife I saw last time told me I have been consistently measuring small. Well, if that were the case, why did he never mention it? Maybe if he had told me a few months ago I could have been better about my vegetables and watching tv sitting up and it would have made some difference. Grrrrr.

Again, I know everyone is going to post not to worry, but I will. I'm her mom what choice do I have! LOL.

Whine

Can I whine for a little bit? I am miserable today. I woke up this morning and had a sore throat and was all stuffy headed. I just couldn't pull myself out of bed and didn't get up until like 7:30 to leave at 8. I almost called in sick, but am trying to save my days and I had a few meetings today I really couldn't miss. Fonzie decided that this morning would be the morning he totally went wild child and he ran off after a bird and I had to go chase him through multiple yards. Thank goodness I had shoes on. I normally trudge outside in Gary's size 14 flip flops, not the safest i know, but I usually just stand in the driveway while he pees and runs right back in. Anyway I got him back to the house, but knew I was in for a bad day.

I just feel like total crud today. My head hurts, my back aches and I feel like I might just crap my pants at any and every minute, although that hasn't happened. I also think I might have started having braxton hicks contractions. It's not how I would have imagined them, but I am definitely having some stabbing random pains that I can only liken to extremely bad period cramps. Everything combined has made for a very irritable monica today and I had like 5 meetings on my schedule. And after work I have agreed to sit in on a study group a my hospital to discuss prenatal screening. We get a $30 gas card and free Caribou coffee and pastries, why not. But I'd love to just go home and curl into a ball with a heating pad. I have such a hard time believing I will make it to my due date, but if the baby is small as it is, I sure hope I do.

I knew the end would kill me with anticipation. Patience is not a virtue I have. I like to plan, I need to know when things are going to happen and not knowing when this baby is going to get here is going to torture me for the next month. I thought I might get by without braxton hicks, but looks like they are here to torture me too. Although I can't say thye hurt that bad, it's just combined with the back pain they are making it very unpleasant today.

On a more happy note. My coworker knitted me a really pretty afghan for the baby. I have lots of fun plans for the next few days - meeting Sara to walk after work tomorrow, Sat morning meeting friends at the park for them to run, me to walk, then brunch afterwards, movie with Sara Sat afternoon, Sunday I have book club. Good stuff. I am trying to fit as much time with my friends in as I can over the next few weeks. Within reason of course, I am absolutely resting plenty!

UPDATE: Thanks for the concern ladies, but I don't think there's anyway this is real labor. The braxton hicks or whatever they are don't hurt bad enough and have only happened like all of 5 times today.

36 weeks

Tomorrow I am 36 weeks. Wowza. I had a doc appt this morning and met with someone I hadn’t seen before and I really liked her! I wished she’d been my doc the whole time, she’s actually a midwife. But again the chances of her, my normal doc or any of the other 2 people I have seen being there the day I give birth is just luck of the draw. I had my first internal in forever, ahhhh I had conveniently forgotten how sucky those are. I am 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated and the baby is completely engaged. Things are ripening as she put it. She measured me and kept getting that I was measuring more like 34 weeks. Then she looked back at my doc notes and it seems I have been consistently measuring small. He never indicated that. She said she’s really not worried since the head is already so low and the baby is active, but she is sending me for an u/s anyway. Of course this scares me a little bit, but I am also so excited to get a look at her so close to being here, I am so curious as to how she is shoved in there. I have thought my weight gain over the last few months didn’t seem quite right. I have basically been more or less the same weight since Feb, but the belly shape has changed and baby is definitely larger. Anyway. I’m sure it’s fine. More time off of work, joy.

This whole lightening/engaged baby thing, whatever you want to call it is so uncomfortable. I can’t even believe the difference in how I feel since the baby has “dropped”. I certainly can’t pinpoint when it happened, but boy do you just know. I feel like she is going to fall out and all the pressure on my bladder and perineum is insane. Who knew you could even feel your perineum. I kept trying to figure out how to describe it, then looked up lightening and on the description it says you will have increased pressure in the bladder and perineum. There you go. I guess webmd doesn’t use the term ‘taint. So, I am totally oompaloompaing down the halls at work now. I have still been trying to walk the dogs 2-3 miles a night. It is tough, at least for the first mile, but they enjoy it and I know it’s good for me and baby. 29 days until due date!

Birth plan

Well I figured I'd go ahead and do a birth plan, there's not much to it. If you are dead set on natural childbirth then there are a lot more boxes to check!:


Birth Plan for Monica
Due Date: 4/22/09
Patient of / Hillcrest

3/20/09
We are looking forward to sharing our birth experience with you. We have created this birth plan in order to outline some of our preferences for birth. We would appreciate you reviewing this plan, and would be happy to do so with you. We understand that there may be situations in which our choices may not be possible, but we hope that you will help us to move toward our goals as much as possible and to make this labor and birth a great experience. We do not want to replace the medical personnel, but instead want to be informed of any procedures in advance, and to be allowed the chance to give informed consent. Please feel free to ask if you have any questions or comments. Thank you!

Please Note

• My bloodtype is Rh- (Rhesus Negative)
• I would like to wear contact lenses or glasses at all times when conscious.

Labor

• I expect that doctors and hospital staff will discuss all procedures with me before they are performed.
• I would like to be free to walk, change positions and use the bathroom as needed or desired.
• So I can stay as mobile as possible, I would prefer to have a heparin lock adminstered instead of an IV.
• Please do not administer an IV or heparin lock unless there is a clear medical indication that such is necessary.
• Please limit the number of vaginal exams.
• Please do not permit observers such as interns, students or unnecessary staff into the room without my permission.

Labor Augmentation/Induction

• I would like to avoid induction unless it is medically necessary.
• If my pregnancy progresses past 40 weeks, I would prefer to base the decision to induce on the results of my baby's biophysical profiles, not on my own personal discomfort or impatience.
• I would like to try alternative means of labor augmentation, like walking or nipple stimulation, before pitocin or artificial rupture of membranes is attempted.
• Please do not rupture my membranes artificially unless medically indicated.

Anesthesia/Pain Medication

• Please do not offer anesthesia/analgesia unless I ask for it.
• I prefer an epidural to narcotic pain medication.

Cesarean Section Delivery

• I feel very strongly that I would like to avoid a cesarean delivery
• If a cesarean is necessary, I expect to be fully informed of all procedures and actively participate in decision-making.
• I would prefer epidural anesthesia, if possible, in order to remain conscious through the delivery.
• If conditions permit, baby should be given to Gary Nowac (my husband) immediately after the birth.

Perineal Care

• To help my perineum stretch, please help guide my pushing efforts by letting me know when to push and when to stop.
• I would rather have an episiotomy than risk a tear.
• Please administer local anesthesia when repairing any episiotomy or tear(s).

Delivery

• Please allow the umbilical cord to stop pulsating before it is cut.
• I have made arrangements for donation of the umbilical cord blood.
• Please remove my IV/Heparin lock/catheter as soon as possible after delivery.

Newborn Care

• I would like to hold my baby through delivery of the placenta and any repair procedures.
• If possible, please evaluate baby on my abdomen.

Postpartum Care

• I would prefer not to be catheterized until I've had some private time to attempt urination on my own.
• If available, I would prefer a private room.
• I would like to have my baby room-in with me at all times.

Breastfeeding

• I plan to breastfeed and want to nurse immediately following the birth.
• Please do not give my baby supplements (including formula, glucose, or plain water) without my consent, unless there is an urgent medical necessity.
• Please do not give my baby a pacifier.
• I would like to meet with the staff lactation consultant.

35 weeks

Ahhhh I am going to be a mom in like 36 days. Shit. It could be sooner. Two people at work have told me I look like I have dropped. I feel like it too. My walking has totally changed. I waddle and over week or so can really feel a difference in the amount of pressure down below. But she is still kicking and moving around like crazy. I’ve been told that they get really still when you are close. I certainly don’t think that I am going to 5 weeks early, but 2-3 maybe? I’m sure I’ll still be sitting here typing a week late, but you just never know. I am such a type A personality. I knew the anticipation at the end was going to drive me bonkers. I am leaning towards stopping work on April 17. That’s the Friday before my Wed due date. What did you ladies do? I just can’t see myself sitting in my office that last week waiting for the baby to come. I’ll drive myself crazy and not be very effective. But then again if I go a week late, I hate to lose it. On the other hand, to have that week of relaxation and house preparation and lounge time with the dogs might be worth it. I guess once I get a few internal exams I’ll be able to make a better informed decision. If at my appt on April 13th they see some dilation it might be worth having a stop date. I don’t know what to do.

I need to take some more pictures of the nursery. We hung this adorable felt bird mobile from Pottery Barn over the changing table and got the window blinds up. The mobile will probably end up coming down eventually though b/c it’s going to get in Gary’s way, I fit under it just fine. I am very much looking forward to going to babies r us and taking some items back from the shower and getting a few odds and ends we need. Actually I think I will make a list of what else I need to buy to be totally done, I love lists!

* 2-3 more covers for changing pad (is 3 total enough?)
* A secure trash can for diapers/liners
* A secure hamper to put cloth diapers in
* A wet bag for the cloth diapers
* A few of the Johnson & Johnson products (surprisingly I got none at my showers)
* A few large storage containers that are cute, to go underneath the crib to store the million blankets, burp clothes, and other items I have no place for

Not too bad! Mother in law is buying us the pack and play and excersaucer, so we don’t have those yet, where will I put them! We didn’t get a swing or stroller, so I might get those with our exchanged money and gift cards… I don’t know what to do about a stroller. My friend was kind enough to hand me down a car seat with 2 bases, but unfortunately she didn’t have the stroller on hand. She thought she did, but it turned out it was at their parent’s summer home. So, she wouldn’t be able to get it for me until sometime in June. So, I have a free stroller, but won’t have it for about 1.5 months after baby’s arrival. Will I need one before then? The only other one I have is an umbrella stroller and a running stroller. I imagine we will need a stroller from the start, right? So, that being said, since I have a car seat, I don’t need to buy a stroller travel system. What kind of stroller should I get that I can use off the bat??? Suggestions? Brands?

Baby Shower #2

Yesterday Gary's mom threw me a lovely baby shower at her church reception hall. It was a lot of fun. I am definitely getting to the I'm uncomfortable, irratable now leave me alone stage. So, of course I had fun and I am so lucky/blessed to have such wonderful family friends, but boy was I wooped afterwards. I am pretty much finding that I can really only do 1 thing a day. Most days that's make it through the work day. On Sunday I woke up to magical spring weather and walked the dogs 3 miles before heading to the church at 1 to help set up. People got there at 2 and then we were there until 4:30. So, by the time we got home after 5, I just wanted to curl in a ball and die. Well, okay sleep. I can't believe all the great stuff we got, how can one little baby need all of this! Some of the gifts included a boppy newborn lounger, Rainforest jumparoo, Boppy pack n play, Graco high chair, infant sleep positioner, sheets for the crib and sooo many cute outfits. Girl clothes are so much fun! I put all the cute little dresses and bloomers away and it was so fun going through them all. Will she really wear all this stuff! I feel like we are in pretty good shape, not much else we need.

How cute is Gary's cousin's baby trying out the bopper lounger!

The business of being born

Have you seen that movie? It's a documentary by Ricki Lake? It's very informative. It definitely gives you the side of people who prefer natural birth. If you haven't seen it and are preggo I think it's definitely worth a look see. I can't say it changed my mind, I still wouldn't be brave enough to try an at home birth, but as far as all the info on hospitals and drugs and how your day coul go, it was very good. Ricki is a brave woman showing herself totally naked giving birth in a bath tub. I am way too much of a prude for that, but then again that just goes to show you that I have something wrong with my body image! LOL!

I was very shocked when the Anesthiaologist who gave the talk at our hospital said that 99% of their patients get epidurals. To me that didn't seem like something to brag about...he said the national average is 80 something %.

34 weeks!

34 weeks today! 6 weeks to go. Wow. I am this __ close to being ready to be done. I still enjoy watching her move around too much and am not horribly uncomfortable. But I am definitely waddling and feel fat. Can’t breathe when going up stairs and have to pee constantly. I have started to retain water in my hands and feet which hasn’t been an issue up until this point. My sausage fingers and fat ankles totally gross me out. I have little to no energy and can’t sleep worth a damn (but that may just be the puppy). So, yeah if this was over tomorrow there would be a lot of relief!

Last night Gary and I went to “ A night with the Anesthesiologist” which is a meet and greet with the head of anesthesia for our hospital. It was very informative and I am glad we went. I am pretty sure I am going to get one, I’d say 90% sure. Part of me wants to try without, but part of me just really doesn’t see the point. No offense to those of you who believe in all natural. The only reason I am 90% sure and not 100% sure is it would be nice not to have to deal with everything that comes along with the epidural, the fear of it, the initial bee sting shot that numbs your back, the catheter and IV. But I am also the type of person who crys when giving blood so the chance of me going natural is pretty darn slim. I did think that there was good reason to put the drugs off as long as possible so I could be up and about, which I thought would help move the baby along, but this guy said there is no truth to that once you are in active labor. I don’t know, there are a million opinions out there. Bottom line is I am glad we went. Afterwards we got a tour of the birthing area. That was eye opening. It was nothing like I was expecting, kind of janky really! It is an older hospital. I just expected everything to be shiny and metal and very sterile looking, but it’s more like a hotel room with a crazy looking bed in it! I know people who have delivered here though and it has a great reputation. We also got to see 5 little babies in the nursery. Oh one was only 3 hours old and they were doing his footprints. Just wanted to eat him up! They gave us a flyer and the hospital holds mom and me groups for people with infants. I think I may try to go to those, it’ll be nice to meet some other people with little ones.

On Monday I had a checkup. The doc said the baby is pointing down and ready to go. Starting at my next appt which is in 2 weeks I will start getting internal’s again. I don’t get anymore ultrasounds, that was disappointing news. I would love to see how big she is. He wasn’t able to make any sort of guess about her size, just said I was measuring on target, so she’s probably around 5ish lbs. But boy am I in countdown mode, not so much b/c I am ready for baby, I mean I am, but it’s totally scary. But work is a constant headache. I am a project manager with 8 busy accounts. I will have 4 different people divvying up my accounts. So I am starting to copy them on everything now, and include them in meetings, etc. It’s annoying for me and annoying for them b/c something I include them on today might not be an issue in a week, but if I don’t include them and something happens, they are out of the loop. It’s a hard balance to keep. I have been working on an enormous project that goes live next Tuesday. That will be such a huge weight off of me. It’s been horribly stressful and then that account won’t be quite as high maintenance and it’ll be easier to keep my backup involved.

I am thinking more about names and keeping a short list, right now here is what I have on it:

Elanore
Ruby
Adelaide
Mallory
Lillian
Violet
Zoe
Sky

Oh and I have an absolute new favorite food. If you see this in the store, you must try it. It was on sale at Giant Eagle for $1 a pop, usually cost more. I have the lemon verbane and cucumber dill, both were fantastic.

Owls

As an afterthought last night we decided the tree needed an owl, so my sister made me 4. 1 for the tree and 3 to over the closet. I have an owl theme going, I also have an adorable owl nightlight Tina got me at potterbarn and a bookend I got at TJ Maxx for $8.

The nursery

The nursery has been like a dark cloud hanging over my head for many a month now. I wanted it done so badly, but we were in no place to start due to other household projects we were working on (well Gary was working on). But finally I have a nursery people, with 7 weeks to go, the baby could come now and I'd have a room with a changing table! Okay I know I won't really use the nursery off the bat, but whatever. My amazingly talented sister came up this weekend to paint a tree on my wall, then we made leaves out of scrapbooking papers and ran them through an adhesive machine and voila a gorgeous mural. Big thanks to her, she really worked her butt off painting the tree. It took a few coats of paint and she had to do the outline with a little tiny brush. Here are some pics of the tree and my nursery in general, I am changing the bedspread on the bed eventually. I just need to find a solid color one I like, I think there is enough going on in there with out a pink swirly bedspread. The colors are a little skewed in the pics, my room is more purple than gray.

While my sister was here, we also went to Pittsburgh (about 2 hours from Cleveland) to go see Fleetwood Mac in concert. It was an amazing, wonderful concert. I wasn't as miserably tired as I thought I would be, I even drove home. But it was a long day and I've felt pretty wrecked today.

32 weeks

Alright, offically 8 months preggo today.

And some pics from my shower. My mother in law, her mother and Gary's little sister:

My mom and sister Tina and me
My lovely friends
And remember forever ago when we ran that half marathon in OR? Well I finally got pics from that day from my sister in law. I can't remember I thought I was big!

Baby shower #1

I had my first of 2 baby showers this weekend. It was thrown by Gary's step mom and her mother. It was at a lovely little tea shop in Medina OH. I think there were about 20 people there total. The weather didn't cooperate, it ended up snowing, but it wasn't too bad out. We played a few games, the one with the pin where you can't say baby, guess how many bibs I would received and guess how many m&ms in the jar. We had some prizes from bath and body works, so the winners of those games took home a prize and then for the ones left, I just drew names so pretty much everyone got a prize. There were also cute tea bag party favors for everyone to take home. I had a really nice time, I wasn't feeling very well and being the center of attention really tired me out. It's hard making the rounds and trying to make everyone feel included. We got a lot of great stuff, mostly clothes and accessories like bibs and socks. But there were also several key registry items like the diaper bag, baby monitor, booster seat and changing pad. It was overwhelming coming home with all that stuff. I really need to buy a dresser soon as we have no where to put all the little clothes. I don't have a good idea of if I have enough newborn clothes, I need to fold them and get them into a drawer and separate everything out by months! It's clothing overload right now. Oh one unexpected treat was a little rocking horse my great aunt got for us. It is too cute and I can't wait until she is old enough to rock on it. My mom also got me this neat little digital picture frame that holds up to 4000 photos and I can keep it in my purse, she got G one too for his desk at work. And this pendant that has my baby photo on it and I can put my baby's photo on the other side. I'll try and take a pic of it as it's really neat, but hard to explain, it's like set in crystal, it's not metal. All in all it was a really good day. I have one more shower on March 15th, then we'll be able to take stock and see how much left we have to buy. It's so easy to say babies really don't need that much, but when you don't have one everything seems like a necessity. I am really trying to keep things to the minimum. We have a small house and don't have room for tons of jumpers and swings, etc. Any advice on things you can't live without and things you thought were necessary and sooo aren't; would be much appreciated.

I had a doc appt this morning. I talked to him about my heartburn and he pretty much said I can take any over the counter medicine. So that is good.

Heartburn is a Son of A Byatch

Prior to being pregnant I never had heartburn, not once in my life. I'll admit, it seemed silly to me, something that only people who wolf down their food are plagued with, people who frequented buffets. I didn't get that it was a real ailment, that might just ruin your life. Mercy, I get it now, I call uncle. Please heartburn gods leave me alone, I am sorry I laughed at the weaklings with heartburn in the past. I have had it off and on throughout my pregnancy, but I have had it pretty much non stop since I got past the stomach bug I had last week. So, since Wed I have been burping what feels like battery acid. It is way worse than it has been over the previous months. It burns and it make my eyes water and makes me want to hurt someone. I am completely on edge because of it. I have just been taking chewable things like Tums Smoothies, but I am going to stop on the way home from work and get something else, soemthing stronger b/c Tums ain't cutting it.

I guess I can't complain too much, the only issue I've really had through this pregnancy is heartburn and a heck of a lot of cellulite. Ugh, that's for another post. That's for the cottage cheese genes mom.

Love it

I don't think there is a more wonderful feeling in the world than your baby moving. I wish there was a way to bottle it and remember it forever. I know once she is out I will never be able to truly remember what it feels like. It reminds me of when you get to the top of a hill on a roller coaster, or how I imagine I would feel if I was a lava lamp. I wish there was a way for the husband to get how neat this is. My baby girl definitely had a lull in activity for awhile there, but she is making up for it tenfold. She has been staging a revolt for days now and I can feel her on both side of my stomach. I imagine she has inherited my husbands long legs and is trying to stretch out in there. I am starting to definately see shapes jutting out and can tell when she is balled up on one side of my belly. I wish hubby found it as enthralling as I do, he doesn't have the patience to keep his hand there for very long. I am 31 weeks today. I will take an updated pic. I really need to get the video camera out and try and capture some of this belly movement.

Gary finished painting the nursery last night. It is the greatest shade of purple ever, it's called Lupin if you want to see it at the store! It't not a pastel purple, it's deeper than that without being dark. I also found some great potterybarn crib bedding on craigslist and I picked it up last night and it matches perfectly and is in good shape. Score! I can't wait to put the crib and changing table together. But I think I will wait for next weekend. My sister is coming up specifically to help me get the nursery in order and we'll need things to do. Plus Gary still has to pain the closet in the nursery, so its not 100% ready to go. He keeps his clothes in this room and I think we will keep it that way and just keep baby's stuff in the dresser. So much to organize.

I am mostly feeling better. I think I will do my excercise DVD tonight b/c I need to go to target too and don't want to be away from the house all night. Have to spend some time with my boys.

Monday blahs

Sooo I think I am on the mend. Knock on wood. So far today no real stomach trauma. Just feeling weak and tired from lack of eating and dehydration. My little girl must have read my worry and has been a kicking ninja the last few days. It’s been great. There was definitely a lull in activity there for awhile.

Gary started on the nursery this weekend and I couldn’t be more excited. He painted all the woodwork and the ceiling. So, next step is the walls. We picked out a really nice purple color. This color does not go with our bedding from Target at all. So it is going back. So, I am back in my never ending circle of hatred of crib bedding. I found something I think will work on craigslist though, it’s from pottery barn and really cute. Just not sure the purples will match. I think I am going to take a leap of faith and buy it, the worse case scenario is I have to turn around and sell it myself on craigslist. Since it’s potterybarn, I don’t think it’ll be too hard. I was a little skeeved to buy used bedding, but we’re just talking the bumper, skirt and quit here, not sheets. The quilt is just for decoration. I’m cheap, what can I say.

This weekend I have my first shower. I am so excited. I can’t wait to have them both so that I can figure what is left that we need to buy. My next one is March 15. After that I can get all nesty and finalize the nursery. Can’t wait!

Stomach bug

Oh boy did I get sick this week, get ready for a TMI post. I woke up yesterday at about 3 am and realized my stomach was bothering me. I got up to get ready for work at 7 and realized I didn't feel well, but really thought I just needed to go to the bathroom and it would pass. I carpool on Thursdays and I contemplated calling the lady I carpool with and telling her I'd drive solo in case I had to leave. But stupidly I did not and I went to work. BY the time I got there I felt totally funky I didn't know if I was going to puke or crap my pants. Long story short, I had to call Gary to come get me at work and take me home. I was laid up in bed all day just feeling miserable. I kept thinking I was going to have to puke, but only did once. I only ate a cup of soup though, so there wasn't much to work with I guess. The worse was that my bones were aching soooo badly. It felt like someone was trying to crack my knees and my back in half. I had a throbbing headache too. Tylenol helped a bit. Towards the end of the night I got the most horrible gas pains I have ever had in my life and was just sitting in bed bawling. Gary wasn't quite sure what to do to help me! I think it must have been so bad b/c I have the baby stuffed in there too, so the pressure was just too much. Every time I moved around it was like I was going to burst in half. I was able to get in a hot shower and rub my belly and work some of the pressure out :) I literally thought I was going to die, how am I going to handle labor!!!! I was up all night going to the bathroom, but feel much better today. Just horribly dehydrated and tired of course. I stayed home from work today to. I hate to take sick days right now b/c I really need to save them, but I figure if I am contagious, it's not very nice of me to go to work. I am just glad the worst of it seemed to be a 24 hour bug, but I haven't been that sick in a loonnngg time, hope the baby didn't mind too much.