Tuesday, September 2, 2008

To Tell the Truth

I am still just floored that I got to hear the heartbeat! I cannot wait until my appt on the 17th. I think after that appt. if everything looks good, I will go ahead and tell my boss, then maybe wait 2-3 weeks to tell everyone else here. And post on my other blog. I am so eager to tell my other bloggy friends, especially since I only know like 6 of my readers in flesh in blood. But like I said before, one reader dates a co-worker and I am not ready for work to know yet, so I am better safe than sorry. I want to tell b/c I find myself lying and I hate that. People ask me how my training for the full Akron marathon is going and I just say fine, yadda yadda. Someone asked me if I was to taper on Sunday or if I had one more long run and I had to fib and I hate that. Speaking of running, baby and I had a nice 11 miler on Sat and a 6 miler on Sunday. But my back is killing me now, so I think I overdid it. My hips and back have really been aching.

Speaking of Sunday I got to go to a baby shower for my friend L, her blog is in my blogroll – the Little One. I have always loved baby showers, but I love them even more now. I totally found myself tearing up as she received such lovely things like handmade blankets from her grandma and a bib that said I love grandpa. My dad died this year and it’s in the back of my head constantly that my child will never get to meet his grandfather and that makes me sad. My dad liked babies. I never had strong relationships with my grandparents, but I hope my baby does. He gets 3 grandma’s since G’s parents are divorced and one grandpa and one boyfriend of his grandma, whatever you call that. And it’s hard b/c I live 6 hours from my mom and sister. I hate that. It’s not how I pictured things when I was younger and I thought about having a family. I always thought I’d live closer to home. It’s all very depressing when I sit and think about it, but all I can do is do the best I can with what I have. I just feel sad for my mom b/c I know she will want to be around more and it’s such a long drive. Oh well, such is life. I’ll quit being depressing now.

On a funnier note. I got drawn into youtube this weekend and found myself watching videos of babies moving in bellies. Gary had no idea that you could actually see the baby move through the skin and it totally grossed him out. It was priceless. I also started watching a few home birth and water birth videos, but stopped that pretty quickly, I think I am better off never seeing any births, it just makes it scarier. Although the water births look kind of nice. Minus the part where you float around in a bloody pool afterwards, yuck.

6 comments:

Baby and Me said...

I am glad you are feeling so good. I tried to watch the birthing videos and for sure that is something I am not ready to see. I spent most of it with one eye closed and just saying "get it out already".

Mama Simmons said...

Totally get that feeling of not wanting to lie about your training. I told a couple of my closer training buddies very early about my pregnancy. It was impossible not to as we were training (hard) for a 1/2 ironman... riding 60+ miles (hard) every saturday morning then running 5 (hard). I knew I couldn't keep that up and managed to bail out on them for 2 saturdays but then they were like 'hello????' so I just told them. They were quiet about it though until I was really ready to let it be public. :)

KBULL said...

The whole bloody pool part of water birth makes it a BIG NO in my book. NO NO NO NO NO.

N.D. said...

Oh man. Did you need to add that last part about bloody pool? I always thought water birth SOUNDED good. Never watched one and I won't be watching ANYTHING before going in! You are brave! I totally know how you feel about fibbing - that was so hard!!
and about your mom not being close. That is hard. Hopefully she'll be able to come and stay with you to help out!

theOvulator said...

I can totally sympathize about your mom being 6 hours away. I keep thinking mine's only a phone call away, but it's just not the same.

Melanie said...

hurt feelings......last time I checked you did have more than 1 sister and unfortunately I live more than 6 hours away